Kelsey Bedwell

This collection of images will depict my journey of personal trauma, struggle, and growth as I cope with the latest and worst of my mother’s alcohol fueled outbursts. From the event that set this work into motion, to the therapy appointments, prescribed medication, texts in the shower, out all night with friends, dating a stripper, and more that came after, I hope my photos teach people something about what it means to cope. I hope to make people think about the holding on, letting go, and processing of life. I want to show off the double-edged sword of hope. That it can trap us as well as set us free. I believe this work stems from a need for a safe space. To hear other people talk about it so that I don’t have to. To think about how and why I feel deeply enough to depict it. I explore the fact that I am extremely misunderstood by my family in this work as a means to understand myself and build my reality based on the only credible blood source I have at the moment: myself. In this journey I have felt pretty much completely alone.
It’s hard not to when a huge part of what’s on your mind is something people around you are actively avoiding talking about if they do know or I’m actively reminding myself not to talk about it to them if they don’t know. What I’m exploring is important because I know I’m not the only one who’s experiencing this and through this process I have felt extremely alone and isolated. I want conversations about this kind of grief, anger, loss, and healing. My process for making these images is twofold. I keep my camera close by to take pictures of subjects that trigger intrusive thoughts, write down thoughts about this situation as they cross my mind, and take point and shoot style photos of whatever catches my attention in the moment. My second approach is making highly symbolic photos that help move the narrative along more concisely. Other things that include in the project maybe things like screenshots of texts, a timeline, and audio pieces. As for presentation, I believe my work will be best as a series of diptychs and triptychs. My goal with this project is to tell a successful and moving narrative.